Children understand more than we can perceive. When the relationship with your spouse is not going well, children have a good intuition about the energy between the two parents in the house. Often when the children perceive something is happening they will have sudden tantrums or outbursts with random situations such as the color of a cup or their fav toy not being in sight.
Growing up my parents would have random fights. Often times I felt ignored when they would have their “go ask your mother” or “go ask your father”. I felt like I was in the middle as a mediator and I had no idea what to do. I remember crying for no reason feeling confused or hurt and couldn’t explain how I was feeling to them. My parents would ask me what happened but I told them “I don’t know” which made them both say “what’s wrong with you child, can’t you be happy”. These words later made me regress as I grew older thinking “how can I be happy when you guys aren’t happy?”. This is when I realized that I didn’t want this for my future family.
It’s important to have a home built on love and communication. If something is happening between you and your spouse, talk amongst one another before there is a chance to be in front of your children.
I realized this is more easier said than done so I have created a list that helps me and I hope can help other out there as well.
1. Do not raise voices (Children are sensitive to noise and understand the difference between high and low voices).
2. Speak to one another in a respectful way without any curse words etc. (Children learn by observing actions of adults of their everyday life) If we are showing we can talk it out cool and rationally even if we are upset or angry it will have a good imprint in their minds for the rest of their life.
3. Stay away from one another until each person has calmed down for the sake of no arguments.
4. Make a list or mental notes to talk or speak about the issue at the later time when the children are not around or asleep.
These are just a few ideas, please comment or share more ideas below.