Growing up I’ve always had these thoughts watching my parents “parent” me: “when I have a kid, I’m not doing that or this or I’ll be different etc”. What did I know about parenting? Back then I was just a average kid born and raised in America.
I look back and I contemplated a lot actually on things I saw around me in the media and what I saw on the television or read in books as the “right” way to parent. My parents were from South Asia so comparing their kids to other kids was the norm. Where marks like A and B meant you were stupid or smart, getting hit with the chappal (sandal) once in a while was alright and the list continues. As I grew up I’ve come to accept them, because I understood their struggles while fighting for the “American dream”.
Fast forward I become a parent and I understand their backward desi mentality of the comparing, yelling and just the struggles. But what I vowed is to become resilient and change myself from the things I’ve overcame. When faced with a problem we can do two things become resilient (positive) or become negative and start to regress because we were faced with bad situations.
The real question we are left with ultimately, so does our parents affect our parenting styles? I think yes, but we are the ones that can change the cycle. We are in charge of how we choose to process the things we have faced. Our family and children’s life are affected by the parenting choices we make. Oh one more thing, to the Aunty who thought picking up a chappal would stop her son from being Gay, yea I’m heading out now.
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